


Someone Like You

by xxfergiexx



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3512837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfergiexx/pseuds/xxfergiexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin comes to Yunho with a major, life-altering problem. It changes both their lives and breaks Yunho's heart all in one foul swoop. As time progresses and they meet again, their lives are tipped over once again, but this time for different reasons. It doesn't take long for these two long-time friends and band-mates to discover just how important they are to each other, and no amount of time or distance could alter that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heart Break

**Author's Note:**

> Another chaptered fic - I took [this drabble](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1030854/chapters/2053916) and expanded on it. This one is full of heart-ache and drama...listen to the song "Someone Like You" by Adele to get a feel for the tone of this fic.

 (poster by [](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/profile) [TONI_LUV ](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/))

 

 

Yunho took out the bag of popcorn from the microwave and ripped it open to munch on the buttery goodness. He _should_ be working out, but all was lost when he found out his favorite show had been moved to a new time slot.

 

He glanced up at the clock and saw it was half past nine…his show was about to start.

 

Just as he settled on the couch, someone started pounding on his front door. Startled, Yunho scurried to the door and looked through the peephole.

 

It was Changmin! Yunho’s heart jumped, and he opened the door eagerly.

 

 

"Changminnie! I thought you were spending the night with Minhee, what’re you -?"

 

“ _Yunho._ ”

 

Changmin’s tone worried him. Snapping his mouth shut, Yunho ushered his best friend inside the apartment. “Changminnie, what’s wrong?”

 

Pale and clutching Yunho’s hand, Changmin sunk to his knees. “Yunho…I have to…tell you something…this is difficult…”

 

Butterflies fluttered in Yunho’s tummy. This is it. After all these years…years of them being best friends…years of long talks and goofy pranks…years of drama and heartache - the good times and the bad…years of being in love with Changmin…and now, finally…it's all come to this.

 

His best friend was about to confess to him.

 

Yunho held his breath, squeezing Changmin’s clammy hand. “You can tell me anything, Changminnie.”

 

Changmin’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “S-She’s pregnant, hyung…she’s _pregnant_!”

 

The butterflies died and settled in the pit of Yunho’s stomach, inducing nausea. He didn’t have to ask _who’s_ pregnant. It had to be Changmin’s long-time girlfriend, Minhee.

 

Smothering his broken heart and keeping his face stoic, Yunho gently admonished, “Changminnie, how could you be so reckless?”

 

Dropping Yunho’s hand, Changmin wrapped both arms around Yunho’s waist. “I slipped up! But, hyung, I o-offered…to marry her.”

 

_Of course you did, you're good man. Damn you._

 

Having Changmin this close, being able to breathe him in and hold him, then discovering he would never be his, now or ever, was suffocating Yunho.

 

It’s over; that teenie-tiny part of him that hoped one day Changmin would love him the way he wanted was shattered into a million pieces. That's what happens when one hangs on to false hope. Changmin had never given any indication of being in love with him...so _why_?

 

There was no _why_ , he supposed. Yunho grew to love Shim Changmin, from the awkward boy he had been to the confident man he was today. Love had no real formula. Yunho just loved him and hoped...God, he had _lived_ on that hope.

 

Now, it was gone and he had no fucking clue what to do.

 

"Good, that was the right move," Yunho, at last, managed to say calmly. "You did the right thing, Changminnie."

 

Lifting his head, chin resting on Yunho’s naval, Changmin blinked a few more tears out of his eyes. “What about…us? Our career, our…”

 

His best friend left it hanging but Yunho knew what he meant. “Ah, Changmin, don’t worry. We should contact our manager, he’ll know what to do to minimize the press. Fangirls are going to have a field day, that's for sure.”

 

Yunho needed to keep it all about business or he was going to fall apart. Changmin remained silent and on his knees, staring at Yunho with red-brimmed eyes.

 

Unable to stand the sight of Changmin, Yunho pulled away and practically ran to the kitchen. A plan was already formulating in Yunho’s mind as he called their manager. When the older man answered, Yunho asked him to come over early tomorrow morning for some urgent business.

 

On a last note, before he hung up, Yunho said firmly into the phone, “Can you bring the enlistment papers with you? It’s time.”

 

Yunho would stay long enough to watch Changmin get married, no matter how much it killed him. Then, he would leave.

 

That gave him two years. Two years to fall out of love and regain his sanity.

 

He heard a cough behind him and turned around. Changmin was standing hunched over and looking miserable. “You’re gonna leave when I need you most?”

 

"You have Minhee," Yunho uttered tersely. "You don’t need me."

 

Changmin’s eyes grew stony at the cold response and he straightened up. “How do you know what I need?”

 

Growing restless with the awkward turn of conversation, Yunho squeezed by Changmin, heading back into the living room. “Look, Changmin, it’s just time, okay? No point postponing it. You’re going to be busy with Minhee, so this seems like the perfect time for Dong Bang Shinki to go on a hiatus.”

 

Changmin walked back into the living room, watching Yunho. After a long pause, Changmin nodded slowly. “You’re right. Of course you’re right, leader-sshi.”

 

Sighing in relief at having dodged a bullet, Yunho settled down on the couch, blankly staring down at his knees. He felt Changmin sit too, brushing knees with him.

 

"Hyung…"

 

Yunho peered up. “Yeah?”

 

Changmin seemed to force a smile as he said, “When you come back, you’ll meet my baby.”

 

Digging his nails into his palms, Yunho lowered his eyes. The thought of a baby with Changmin’s gentle eyes and sweet smile had him wailing inwardly that the child couldn’t be theirs.

 

"I don’t know what I’m doing," Changmin went on, now sounding helpless. "I’m going to screw this up…I’m not ready for a child."

 

For the sake of their friendship and his deep love for Changmin, Yunho swallowed his own selfish feelings and smiled. “You can do anything. You’ll get the hang of being a father. I believe in you.”

 

That seemed to do the trick. The stress lines on Changmin’s face evened out and he slumped down to rest his head on Yunho’s shoulder. Shifting so they’re more comfortable, Yunho curled his arm around Changmin’s neck, holding his best friend to his chest.

 

"Sleep a little, Changminnie," Yunho whispered. _I love you so much. I want you to marry me!_

 

Yunho let Changmin rest, swallowing down every angry, miserable tears that dared to surface.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Changmin and Minhee's wedding was traditional and elegant.

 

Yunho sat on his knees in the Buddhist temple, clutching the satin pillow beneath his knees and watching his best friend get married.

 

After their manager recovered from the shocking news, he decided it would best to tell the press Changmin and Minhee's story but leaving out the part about the pregnancy. Their tale was a tale of two friends, dating secretly for years, who finally decided to proclaim their love by tying the knot.

 

Their manager planned to tell the public that Minhee got pregnant during the honeymoon. And with the wedding having been planned hastily within two months, the lie would work like a charm.

 

At the moment, Changmin and Minhee sat facing each other with the head monk between them and the guests facing the altar. The monk placed two flowery crowns atop the couple's heads and said a few prayers. Yunho noted how Changmin gazed at Minhee with one of those overwhelmed 'I'm-the-luckiest-man-alive' groom gazes.

 

Yunho felt like vomiting.

 

But he didn’t think that would be good form inside the Buddhist temple, with family and close friends watching the ceremony.

 

So he held in the sickness that never seemed to leave him nowadays. He couldn't wait for the wedding to be over...he's leaving for the army camp in one week. Which meant, he'd have to say good-bye to Changmin tonight, since the newlyweds would be leaving on their honeymoon to Thailand tomorrow morning.

 

Saying good-bye to Changmin; Yunho contemplated ways to do it and mentally scrapped each one. It would be easier to cut off his right arm, honestly. How does he say good-bye to the single most important person in his life?

 

The wedding ceremony was finally over and the guests were ushered to the banquet hall near the temple, where tables of food and drinks were laid out. The newlywed couple entered the hall and sat at the head of the table.

 

Yunho sat down near Changmin's parents, just a few feet from Changmin's himself. He moved some things around on his plate, pretending to eat. Changmin's mother nudged him on the arm and asked kindly, "Yunho, are you okay?"

 

He looked up into eyes so very much like her son's and his heart squeezed. "I'm fine, Mrs. Shim."

 

The older woman didn't appear to believe him but opted to drop the subject and lean over to her husband. Yunho turned to the left and was met with Changmin's questioning gaze. The younger man inclined his head at him, a slight frown on his face.

 

Yunho froze, then quickly reverted back to his untouched plate.

 

_I love you. I hate that you're married!_

 

He hadn't glanced at Changmin new bride once, however, he knew the woman would be dolled up beautifully as always. Changmin couldn't stop talking about how pretty Minhee was since he met her...how their first kiss was electric...how they couldn't keep their hands off each other...

 

And each time it instilled an arrow in Yunho's heart.

 

He was sick of bleeding.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The ceremony and wedding party was over. Yunho shuffled to his car, grateful to get out of that suffocating banquet hall with the flowers and laughter and congratulatory cries to the happy couple.

 

Yunho wanted to go home, curl up on the couch, and stare blankly at the TV.

 

"Hyung!"

 

Yunho cringed. _God, leave me alone!_

 

Changmin had jogged towards him and was scowling thunderously. "What the hell? You just disappear after my wedding without a good-bye?"

 

"I didn't disappear," Yunho droned tiredly. "I was there, waiting. But you were too busy with your guests."

 

" _You're_ the most important guest. And you walked away. I won't see you for two years after today." Changmin's scowl morphed into misery. "It's bad enough you won't be around to help me with the major baby stuff, but couldn't you say good-bye at least? Won't you miss me at all?"

 

Yunho bit his tongue. He wanted to scream.

 

Changmin moved closer. "Hyung? What's wrong? You looked...off in there."

 

"I'm fine," he replied shortly.

 

Ire struck Changmin's countenance for a second then cleared. "Fine. Good-bye then."

 

The younger man was about to brush passed him. Yunho rashly caught his arm and spun him around. He stared into Changmin's face and was mortified to feel tears swarm his eyes.

 

Shock struck Changmin in stages. "Hyung...you...what...please, don't...did I do something wrong?"

 

Yunho gulped down his sorrow and said in a composed voice, "I'll miss you. More than you know. Write me. Tell me how things are going." He wrapped his arms around Changmin's tall frame and took a second to breathe the younger man in. "You'll be a great father. Good-bye!"

 

Yunho dropped his arms and ran off to his car, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road blinded by tears.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The week flew by and Yunho was soon standing outside the army camp outside of Seoul, being dropped off by his father.

 

He slugged his duffle bag over his shoulder and turned to his father. "Thank you, sir."

 

His father embraced him and ruffled his now very short hair. "Good luck, son. Write to us."

 

Yunho nodded and walked away. The officer at the gate inspected him then took the conscription notice from his hand. "Welcome. The new recruits are in the dining hall. Come this way."

 

The gates opened and he followed the officer inside.

 

Yunho glanced back and saw that his father had driven off. He couldn't help but think that if it had been Changmin dropping him off, the younger man would have stood outside the gates and waved until Yunho was completely out of sight.

 

 _Changmin. Who was probably just returning from a glorious honeymoon._ Yunho exhaled and promised himself he'd take these two years to recover from his broken heart.

 

"Come this way, Jung!" The officer's voice broke through his thoughts.

 

Yunho snapped his head towards the command and vaulted over to the officer. "Yes, sir!"

 

 


	2. Secret Love

 

  

 

_"Min-Min, I'm pregnant."_

 

When those words were spoken to him, Changmin's instant reaction was numbness. Then panic settled. Finally, he attempted to soothe Minhee's worry by proposing the only plausible solution to this awkward situation: marriage.

 

So, Changmin got down on one knee and proposed; it was the gentlemanly thing to do, after all.

 

The press would smear Minhee if they weren't married when the baby was born...he couldn't allow that to happen to his girlfriend and long-time childhood friend.

 

After leaving Minhee's place, seemingly composed and self-assured, Changmin promptly crumbled. And he only needed one person right now: Yunho.

 

When he arrived at Yunho's place and clung to his hyung, Changmin felt for a brief second that everything was going to be okay...that he would make it through life's sudden curve ball.

 

And when Yunho told him he would be a good father, Changmin really believed it. Because it's _Yunho_ ; his pure, sweet hyung who only spoke the truth.

 

Laying his head on Yunho's shoulder and closing his eyes brought to mind lyrics to one of his songs, "I Swear". He had to hang on to this moment as long as he could...

 

Yunho would be leaving him for army service sooner than expected. That thought, as well as, Yunho's calm reaction to Changmin getting Minhee pregnant left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

It shouldn't be this way...he should be grateful Yunho came up with a quick solution that would benefit the band, and wasn't ranting or yelling at him for ruining their careers.

 

Nuzzling his nose into Yunho's soft cotton shirt, Changmin reminded himself that Yunho was only his hyung and work partner. _Get it together, man. It's Yunho's duty to stay calm in situations like these._

 

_"Sleep a little, Changminnie."_

 

That gentle voice smoothed over him like a balm to his troubles. _My sweet hyung, thank you._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

During his wedding ceremony, even as he gazed at his beautiful wife-to-be, Changmin's mind drifted. He thought of his parents' shocked but eventually pleased reaction to the abrupt news of his marriage. He thought of the tabloids' fairytale version of his relationship with Minhee.

 

And then he thought of Yunho. Who was among the guests watching him get married, by the way.

 

A humorous image of Yunho sitting in Minhee's place and marrying him had Changmin blinking and giving himself a hard mental shake.

 

Their pseudo marriage in the public eye, especially in Japan, was a running joke and worked very well on-screen; selfishly, it also fed the slightly ravenous teenager inside him, whom once had a silly crush on his hyung. But all of that wasn't reality.

 

_Imagine me married to Yunho...how preposterous!_

 

Changmin's eyes glazed over as he thought about it anyway.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

In the midst of thanking his guests one-by-one, Changmin spotted Yunho sneak out of the banquet hall. Irritation rose inside him and he made the hasty decision to leave Minhee's side and announce he would return in a few minutes.

 

He caught Yunho in the parking lot trying to run away.

 

After confronting the older man and only being met with rudeness, Changmin sensed Yunho didn't want him nearby. So _he_ chose to walk off before either one of them said anything hurtful.

 

_"...Good-bye, then."_

 

A hand captured his arm. Turned him. And immediately, he was startled to see tears sparkle in Yunho's eyes.

 

Changmin's heart stung so violently, he had to reel back. And when Yunho embraced him quickly, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

 

He stood still, helpless, as Yunho drove out of his life.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Lounging on the balcony of his honeymoon suite in Thailand, Changmin gazed out at the sunrise. It was a breathtaking sight of various shades of yellow. The darkness of the ocean was lighting up, glittering blue and green, with foamy white waves rolling onto the shore.

 

Yunho's smiling face came to mind suddenly. Changmin _knew_ his hyung would love this amazing view. A year ago, Changmin had had a chance to visit Hawaii; oh, how Yunho begged to go as well, but the leader had other obligations back in Korea. Changmin remembered, after his return, Yunho had asked him, "Will you take me to Hawaii some day?"

 

Changmin recalled laughing in Yunho's face and saying, "Absolutely not, hyung. Hawaii is for married couples!"

 

The way in which all humor and joy slid from Yunho's expression was something Changmin would never forget. Much like Yunho's unhappiness during his wedding ceremony and then his tearful face during their confrontation in the parking lot.

 

All those images were imprinted on his mind. Pretty much everything about Yunho was imprinted on his mind. Tomorrow he and Minhee would be heading back to Seoul and Changmin could only take with him memories of worrying about Yunho's wellbeing at the army camp; he should have been there, seeing him off.

 

His worry for Yunho even trumped his impending worry about the pregnancy.

 

"Min-Min?" Minhee's sultry voice called out from the bedroom.

 

Changmin cleared his head with a shake and called back, "You awake, baby?"

 

"Yes...come back to bed...our flight isn't until noon."

 

Changmin stood and walked back inside the bedroom, immediately zeroing in on his wife's bare legs and breasts...she was beautiful. He leaned against the doorway, sporting only a bath towel around his waist, thus giving Minhee the perfect opportunity to stare to her heart's content.

 

His gaze flickered back to her legs...and an abrupt image of another pair of thicker, much more toned pair of legs popped in his head. Thighs of a dancer...a sensual dancer with the most perfect pair of legs...Yunho.

 

_Wait what?_

 

Changmin mentally slapped himself out of it. What the fuck - what brought _that_ on now? He thought he was over it...

 

He tore the towel from his body and joined Minhee on the bed, fully intent on erasing his long-time fascination with his bandmate's legs from his mind.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The Dong Bang Shinki manager condensed Changmin's schedule down to commercials and solo recordings. He rarely traveled to Japan and stayed close to Minhee, in the quaint house he'd bought for both of them to start their lives together.

 

Minhee was an elementary school teacher, so her schedule was pretty clear on weekends and holidays. This helped her situate herself with the unplanned pregnancy and the baby bump that was beginning to show on the third month.

 

As the baby began to show, Changmin would sweat more profusely each time his eye caught on his wife's tummy; he still didn't know a damn thing about babies. Thank Buddha, Minhee was a teacher. Sometimes he asked her about how the feedings and diaper changing would go but she often became impatient with him, probably due to pregnancy hormones.

 

So, for the sake of keeping his balls in tact, Changmin decided to read every book on babies at the local library instead of seeking out his wife for help. Minhee did a lot of the shopping, but he sought to get the big stuff like a stroller, a high-chair, a crib, and an interesting rolling, elliptical chair the baby could bounce and roam around the room in.

 

About four months into the pregnancy, Changmin put on a jumpsuit and set out to paint the baby's room. Minhee strolled by the room and inquired, "How are you gonna paint it if you refuse to know the sex of the baby?"

 

"Minhee, I told you, I want it to be a surprise. Besides, I'm going with yellow...it's a neutral color." Changmin gave her a teasing look of haughtiness. She shook her head and laughed.

 

After applying the base coat on the walls, Changmin's stomach rumbled. It's lunch time.

 

He climbed down the portable, wooden ladder and made his way to the bathroom to scrub the paint off his hands. Once it was all off and he deemed his hands clean enough, Changmin dried his hands and he picked up his wedding ring, which he'd removed and laid by sink before touching the paint.

 

He twirled the ring in his hand and thought about the unexpected turn his life had taken; he never expected to be married this early. If his mother had never re-acquainted him with Minhee, his old friend from middle school, if there had never been a pregnancy, Changmin would probably still be living with Yunho. He had moved out and got his own place for several reasons, but the major one was that Minhee wanted him to.

 

A smile curled his lips as all of Yunho's living habits and quirks came rushing back to him. The horrible cooking, the tracking of dirt into their apartment, and just the sheer mess _everywhere_. It had driven him crazy...

 

So why was he thinking about it and smiling now? Why did he miss it so much?

 

Him and Yunho still had a place in Japan; that place would always be theirs to use during their Japanese promotional activities. His gut squeezed as a memory of Yunho in a ridiculous apron, cooking a concoction not fit for consumption, flashed in his head. He remembered eating the horribly prepared food anyway - just to bring a happy grin to Yunho's small, handsome face.

 

Despite all his complaints and temper-tantrums at the older man, Changmin had done anything to keep Yunho happy. He still would...

 

Slipping his wedding ring back on and digging his nails into his palms, Changmin looked up into the mirror and muttered, "Damn it, I miss you, Yunho."

 

That night, after Minhee had fallen asleep, Changmin snuck out of the bedroom and into his office in order to write Yunho a long letter. Being sure to leave out the mushy emotional crap he was feeling at the moment; even though Yunho would probably be overjoyed at reading fluffy words coming from him, it wasn't worth being misunderstood.

 

He loved Yunho like a brother. That's all.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

"Min-Min, oh yes, there!"

 

Changmin was currently kneeling behind his wife, with handfuls of her round bottom in his palms, and thrusting into her with a maddening slow pace.

 

Minhee was very receptive to him, even now with her tummy bulging more prominently with the baby. However, Changmin refused to thrust too hard (no matter how much she begged him to); he needed to be careful not to hurt their child.

 

After they'd both reached their climax, Changmin lied down beside her and stroked her belly. "I still can't believe a person is growing in there..."

 

Minhee giggled, out of breath. "Yeah...I've been thinking of names, but I can't decide. It would help if you knew the sex of the baby too..."

 

Changmin shook his head, eyes narrowing in warning. "Don't you dare tell me."

 

"Okay, okay."

 

He remained quiet for several minutes, then something occurred to him, "Did you grab the mail today?"

 

"Yes, why?"

 

"Was there a letter for me or anything?"

 

Minhee seemed to hesitate before asking, "No, why?"

 

Changmin ceased stroking Minhee's belly and suppressed his agitation."I'm waiting for a letter from Yunho. I wrote him a while ago to tell him how things were going but haven't heard back."

 

Minhee waved a dismissive hand. "Oh you know he's probably busy with army training. I'm sure your letter was reassuring to him and all he wanted to hear."

 

Changmin smiled gratefully at his beautiful wife. In spite of their forced circumstance, him and Minhee had quite a healthy relationship. Changmin was confident enough to say that when the baby came, boy or girl, they were going to raise the child in a healthy environment.

 

Minhee smiled back and reeled him in for a kiss.

 

Maybe it's for the best if Yunho never responded to his letter. He'd discovered, over the years, obsessing over Yunho was dangerous, not to mention, detrimental to his sanity.

 

Changmin had a wife and baby to focus on now.

 

_Forget Yunho._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_"I want to have a baby," Yunho sighed wistfully, watching a young Japanese mother bottle feed her child in the park._

 

_"You're crazy, enjoy being a free agent!" Changmin cackled. "Besides, you can't have a baby." He emphasized this with a poke to Yunho's belly._

 

_"Shut up, I know that!" Yunho covered his eyes with one hand and slapped Changmin's arm with the other._

 

_Out of curiosity, Changmin asked, "What would you want, boy or girl?"_

 

_"Both, but maybe a boy first."_

 

_"Okay, then get married," Changmin suggested, though, the suggestion sort of came out too thick with sarcasm._

 

_Yunho shook his bangs into his eyes and lowered his gaze. "I can't..."_

 

_Changmin hated that Yunho wasn't looking at him anymore. He wanted to -_

 

"Ahhhhhh Changmin! I'm going into labor!" Minhee's shrieks cut through Changmin's memory-dream like a siren.

 

He sprung out of bed, drowsy but alert and tense, gathering their already packed luggage and helping Minhee out of bed.

 

It's time; all nine months were leading to this moment.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

His baby was born on time, and most importantly, _healthy_. Minhee had passed out from the exertion of labor, but she had delivered with no complications.

 

Changmin stood in a daze watching the nurses clean his boy up in the small basin in the labor room. He had Minhee's hand clutched in his, unable to move. Only stare.

 

The wailing baby was brought to Changmin and he had to hold out his arms. His breath caught his throat, overwhelmed by the sight of this screaming bundle he'd helped create.

 

It's a boy.

 

Changmin held the baby boy very gently, running a finger across his furrowed forehead. The baby instantly stopped crying and captured Changmin's finger in a tight fist.

 

_It's a boy...._

 

_Yunho, it's a boy!_

 

Changmin wrote another letter that day, not minding he hadn't gotten a response to his last one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yunho's POV of army camp and what happens afterwards will be next. :)


	3. Forgetting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! Here's an update. Hang in there with the angst; there will be fluff later. :)  
> Warning: Original Character/Yunho in this chapter

 

 

 

_Dear Yunho,_

 

_It's taken me months to write to you. I'm sorry. Things have been busy at home, preparing the house for a baby. I'm doing well, as is Minhee. I painted the nursery and the crib is all set up. I've been reading up on several baby books and I know how to do the essentials, including changing diapers and preparing a bottle of milk. I am hoping Minhee breast feeds our child, though._

 

_Today, I thought about you. Well, I thought about you a lot over the past few months. Tell me: how are you? How is training? Are the other soldiers treating you well? I hope so. If not, tell me and I may need to call headquarters and settle the issues, because I know you're too nice to do it._

 

_Be that hard leader I know you can be. Don't let anyone take advantage of you, Yunho, please. Also, write me back. I realize I'm probably going to subject myself to a novelette of your daily routine and long monologues of how much you miss me, but I'll suffer it._

 

_Write. Me._

 

_I miss you,_

_Your Changminnie_

 

 

Clutching Changmin's letter to his chest, Yunho stared at the bunk bed above him, eyes feeling itchy and too dry.

 

For the first time in months, he didn't feel like crying. His bunk mate, Yongjin, in the bunk above him suddenly leaned over the edge of the bed to peer down at Yunho. "Hey, wanna play a card game?"

 

Effortlessly, Yunho smiled and agreed, feeling faintly light-hearted.

 

But he never wrote back.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

He received another letter a couple of months later.

 

 

_Dear Hyung,_

 

_It's a boy. It's a boy! Wish you were here to help me name him. Minhee has some ideas but, honestly, I don't like any of them. Don't tell her I said that...ever._

 

_Hyung, I miss you. I hope your health is well. Write back...maybe?_

 

_Love,_

_Changmin_

 

 

Yunho stared at the word _love_ for too long. Then flickered back up to the _It's a boy_ exclamation.

 

He crumpled the letter in his fist and threw it under his bed. An ugly feeling clawed in his chest, making him sneer at no one in particular. What's wrong with him? He was the one that told Changmin to write him in the first place. Changmin was doing nothing wrong; the letters were normal, friendly, and kind.

 

Yunho was starting to hate these letters and prayed they stopped after this one, when it became apparent to Changmin that Yunho was never going to write back.

 

It's been nine months and Yunho's feelings hadn't ebbed one bit. Changmin officially started a new family- it was time to stop deluding himself with feelings for a _married_ man.

 

 _Time and distance heals all_ , Yunho kept chanting to himself on a daily basis. But how did one erase a person whose been standing by his side for more than ten years?

 

He would never be able to erase Changmin, but Yunho was determined, now more than ever, to take those suffocating feelings he had for his bandmate and lock them in a box.

 

Yunho threw himself into training, and immersed himself with his fellow comrades in the evening. He joked with them, played with them, and recounted numerous stories of his travels to them...leaving out all tidbits about Shim Changmin.

 

Months flew by and Changmin was becoming a sort of distant memory...a figure of his past that didn't belong to him anymore.

 

He never received another letter. Yunho tried to pretend that didn't bother him.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Yunho knew himself to be a very tactile person. He craved physical affection, needed it to survive. His bunk mate, Yongjin, understood that. Yongjin was shorter than him but with a stocky build that matched his tough personality. Yunho found himself staring at the slightly younger soldier sometimes, who appeared completely opposite from Changmin.

 

Yongjin caught Yunho staring sometimes, too, and matched his stares with calculating eyes that knew more than they let on. One night, in the midst of the boisterous chatter of the other soldiers, Yongjin reclined back on Yunho's bed to pin him with a knowing gaze.

 

"You're lonely, Yunho."

 

Yunho smiled and shook his head. "Not at all. How can I be when all of you are always around me?"

 

"Hyung...you're lonely," Yongjin insisted.

 

It was then that Yunho realized Yongjin was handsome. Not a smooth, refined handsome, but a rough, weathered type of handsome that made him appear far older than Yunho himself.

 

He glanced away, afraid of what the other man might see. Yongjin leaned in, whispering, "I can make you feel less lonely, hyung."

 

Yunho glanced back, taking in the genuine honesty on Yongjin's face, and he felt he must be honest too. "I've been trying to forget someone...someone who had been very important to me."

 

"Were you in love with this someone?"

 

"Yes."

 

"I can help you forget," Yongjin caressed Yunho's arm, fingers playing on his skin until they reached down to grasp his hand.

 

Yunho leaned into the touch. He needed this, no one would fault him for giving in.

 

He could pretend a small part of him wasn't feeling like he was cheating on Changmin. To feel guilt was ridiculous. _Changmin was married._ Changmin had a baby with _another woman_.

 

Changmin was a distant memory.

 

Late that night, Yongjin kissed Yunho, and Yunho allowed it...tumbling back onto the bed with a solid, warm body enveloping and distracting him from the mess inside him, until trumpets sounded at dawn.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

It was Christmas time, and Yunho was released from service for a week vacation. He decided to spend the time off with his family in Gwangju, for he craved his mother's home-made cooking, his father's wise words, and his sweet sister.

 

All was well until one morning his mother asked him over breakfast, "Are you going to call Changmin? It's almost the end of your vacation and you haven't talked to him. Won't he be worried sick to see you?"

 

Yunho chewed slowly and swallowed before replying firmly, "Changmin is busy with his own life now. Besides, holidays are a time spent with family."

 

He noted the worried glance his mother gave his father. Thankfully, his father shook his head and remained silent. Yunho felt his sister's gaze drilling into him but he averted his eyes back to his plate.

 

He didn't need to be pestered about this. The last thing he needed was to see Changmin before he went off to the army camp again.

 

He was _finally_ starting to forget.

 

Without his permission, his mind conjured up painfully saccharine scenarios of Changmin with Minhee and their baby boy sitting by the fire, opening presents and drinking hot cider.

 

Yunho pushed his plate away and walked out of the kitchen. On a whim, he called up Hojun, having heard his best friend was in town. He told himself it's only because he missed his favorite hyung.

 

The week passed by too quickly. Yunho was soon packing up his bag to go back to camp. He briefly stared at his phone screen, like a fool waiting for a text or call that never came.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Yunho rose above all the new trainee soldiers and out-performed them all. It hadn't been so in the beginning, but once Yunho focused and made-believe he was back at SM, auditioning for a chance that would change his life, his performance during drills and training skyrocketed. His superior officers took special notice of his grand improvements, making sure to let everyone know how great Yunho was performing. Thankfully, he received lots of encouraging words from the other trainees and more experienced soldiers. A few had even asked for his autograph, either as fans of Dong Bang Shinki or on behalf of their wives or daughters.

 

It felt amazing to be admired by such incredible, self-sacrificing men. Yongjin admired Yunho most. In more ways than one, and never hesitating to tell Yunho how attractive he was.

 

One evening, while the rest of the troop was in the mess-hall, Yongjin had Yunho sprawled across his chest, rubbing circles on his back. "Thank you."

 

Yunho peered up. "For what?"

 

"For letting me touch you. Kiss you. And hold you." He laid a kiss on Yunho's forehead. "You are truly a beautiful person. The one you are trying to forget is an idiot."

 

Yunho blinked, pausing to process. "I'm not trying anymore. I've forgotten."

 

Yongjin smiled ruthfully. "No. You haven't. You look at me sometimes, when we're making love, and it's like you're seeing another."

 

Yunho's throat clogged, tears prickling his eyes. "No. I'm seeing no one else."

 

Yongjin rugged features softened as much as they could as the man told him, "Yes, are you. But I don't mind. I'll be staying in service even after you're gone, so it's okay. I know my time with you is brief. It's why I thank you...and hope you never try to forget _me_."

 

Unable to speak, Yunho moved up, seeking Yongjin's lips, swinging a leg over to straddle the man. He let Yongjin lead, drawing lust and affection from Yunho for hours.

 

 _Life wasn't fair,_ Yunho lamented.

 

A husky sarcastic voice inside him, one that sounded suspiciously like Changmin's, snarled, _Whomever said life was fair?_

 

He clung on to Yongjin.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Yunho was mid-way through his second year of service when a letter arrived for him. He stared at the messy scrawl on the front of the envelope and knew it was from Changmin before he even looked at the name.

 

Instead of tearing it open, Yunho stuffed the letter in the suitcase under his bed and buried his face in a pillow. What did Changmin have to say to him after all this time?

 

It didn't matter. Yunho was going to ignore it until he finished service. He wouldn't reply to it anyway; it would only mess with his head to read it now.

 

Truth be told, he was afraid. Afraid Changmin would be angry with him (no matter how well-deserved it was). Afraid of reading about how happy Changmin was with Minhee and their baby. Afraid to read _about_ the baby - the precious being who had no doubt become Changmin's _everything_...

 

The baby that should have been _his_ and Changmin's, if he was honest with himself and released a bit of the feelings stored away in that mental box.

 

 _No_ , Yunho refused to read the letter until he was ready.

 

Sighing, he called himself ten times a coward and tried to smother himself to sleep.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 _Two years_.

 

It's been two years and his duty to serve his country was complete.

 

He hugged and wished every soldier a successful and healthy life. They all seemed to genuinely bid him the same, even his superior officers, who had taken a particular liking to him over the last two years.

 

The hardest one to say good-bye to was Yongjin. The man was leaning against their bunk bed, arms folded over his chest, watching Yunho fidget.

 

"I don't know what to say," Yunho muttered. "Let's keep in touch, when you're on holiday."

 

Yongjin considered the offer then shrugged, "I'm all for that. If you still want to by then."

 

Yunho didn't know what to make of that, so he let it slide without comment. Carefully approaching the man who had been his rock for two years, Yunho wrapped his arms around Yongjin's muscular shoulders and kissed the kind soldier with all his might.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

For three full days, Yunho hibernated at his parents' house in Gwangju. He received lots of calls from old friends, wanting to know all about his experience in military service. A few of them had already completed their duty and he swapped stories with them.

 

His manager called to check on him and inform him there's a Dong Bang Shinki comeback planned for the end of the year, and that Changmin was ready to pick up where they left off.

 

Changmin never called him, though. Several times throughout the three days, Yunho found his fingers hovering over Changmin's name in his phone, itching to make the first move. But he chickened out, heart squeezing at the thought of hearing Changmin's voice again. He knew he had to eventually...just not today. _Not today_ , he continually told himself.

 

At the end of the third day, whilst trying to mentally prepare himself for what's to come, Yunho set out towards the park near his family's house. The park had a pretty pond with a flock of ducks swimming about. Yunho came prepared to feed them, an old loaf of bread in hand.

 

He sat on the ground near the edge of the pond, tore off little bits of bread, and threw them in the water. The ducks immediately floated in his direction, seeking out the pieces of bread feverishly.

 

Light footsteps behind him jerked his attention from the ducks. He turned his head and spotted a little boy shuffling closer and closer with a look of curiosity.

 

A smile tugged on Yunho's lips. "Hello."

 

The little boy grinned and Yunho was struck with a moment of familiarity. The boy was very well-dressed, in tiny blue jeans and a polo shirt with tiny tennis shoes adoring his equally tiny feet. The tuft of dark-brown curly locks atop his head were tousled by the light breeze swirling around them. Was this a neighbor's kid he'd met before?

 

Yunho stretched out a handful of bread and offered, "Here. Want to feed the ducks?"

 

The little boy shyly approached, unsteady on his small feet, and carefully grabbed the bread from Yunho's palm. "Tank you."

 

Yunho's heart clenched. The boy was adorable, and very polite. He scooted over to let the boy stand next to him and throw crumbs into the pond. The boy giggled and pointed as the ducks quacked and nipped at the bread.

 

Unable to help himself, Yunho reached up to ruffle the boy's hair. "What's your name? And where are your parents?"

 

The little boy faced him and demanded in high-pitched voice, "Bread!"

 

Yunho raised an eyebrow. "Well, well. Not so shy anymore, are we?"

 

He only got a cute giggle in return as the rest of the bread was snatched away from him by two small hands.

 

Yunho gazed at the boy with an unexpected wave of awe and adoration. This little person was deadly. And he wanted a dozen of him...maybe more.

 

"Minyun! Where did you run off to?"

 

The booming shout startled both Yunho and the little boy. The voice was as familiar as the boy's features...Yunho's entire body froze.

 

"Minyun what - ? _Yunho?_ "

 

Yunho closed his eyes briefly, summoning strength. When he faced the man behind him, the ground beneath his feet tipped. _No. I'm not ready...go away!_

 

Breathing in deeply, Yunho made sure the box that held his feelings in was tightly locked before replying, "Hello, Changmin."

 

An array of emotions flitter across his bandmate's ragged, still painfully-handsome face before settling on hostility. Voice teetering with barely repressed anger, Changmin gritted out, " _Yunho_. We need to talk."

 

Yunho kept his features in check as he wondered quietly, "What're you doing in Gwangju?"

 

Changmin appeared conflicted, snapping his mouth shut. At this moment, Minyun chose to slap Changmin on the leg and wobble off, muttering to himself like very distraught, miniature adult.

 

"Ow, ow! Minyun, come back here!" Changmin jogged away to catch up with his son.

 

For one brief wild moment, Yunho contemplated taking this opportunity to run away...but that would have been childish. Not to mention, Changmin was keeping a stern eye on him as he argued with his son.

 

Yunho stuffed his hands in his pockets, awkwardly waiting for his bandmate to return, readying himself for a ugly fight.

 

He watched Changmin lift his son, who was kicking and screaming, into his arms and glare at Yunho from a few feet away. "I'll pick you up tomorrow and we'll drive to Seoul! That's an order, hyung. It's back to work!"

 

Yunho nodded, expressionless despite the shock to his system.

 

Seemingly satisfied with the nod, Changmin strolled away with his angry little boy. Yunho's eyes roamed over the younger man's tall frame, long legs, and muscular arms. Old feelings were beginning to rise, but he smothered them before they could consume him.

 

_"I'll pick you up tomorrow...it's back to work!_

 

 _Tomorrow_.

 

Yunho was both elated and miserable as he walked back home.

 

 

 


	4. Forget Me Not

 

 

 

"Fine, then, what do _you_ want to name him?" Minhee sounded exasperated as their little boy suckled from her breast.

 

Changmin had just returned from dropping off a letter to Yunho at the post office and they were _still_ arguing about names. It's been just a couple of hours since they've been home from the hospital and Changmin had shot down every name Minhee suggested before the birth. He could see it was frustrating her to no end.

 

"I have a name in mind," he said with some trepidation. The name combination occurred to him on the drive home from the post office but he's a bit self-conscious to share it.

 

Minhee rocked their baby boy after he fed and quietly said, "Come on, spill. We need a name. We cannot keep calling him _the baby_."

 

Popping his knuckles and stretching in order to buy time, Changmin prompted himself to tell her. Because the more he thought about it, the more he realized it's the only name he wanted for his boy.

 

"Minyun. I like...Minyun."

 

There was a long pause as his wife appeared confused by the name before realization then irritation morph across her features. "Let me ask you something, Changmin - why do you want that name?"

 

Changmin hesitated before admitting, "I don't know. It's just a name that came to mind earlier. No deeper reason behind it."

 

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Yunho would it?" Minhee casually threw out while standing to carry the baby to the crib.

 

"Why would you think that?" Changmin's palms began to sweat.

 

Minhee straightened up after putting their slumbering baby to bed and covering him with a blanket. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because the first thing you did when we came home from the hospital is write Yunho a letter and went to the post office. I just gave birth to our son, and your first priority is Jung Yunho."

 

Changmin wiped his palms on the front of his jeans and tried to meet Minhee's hard stare evenly. "It's not like that. I was just excited and wanted to share the news with my hyung."

 

Minhee stormed out of the baby room with Changmin following closely behind. "And what about _me_ , Changmin? I'm your wife and I just gave birth...me and the baby should be your first priority." His wife was almost in tears now. "I just want to understand..."

 

Shame filled Changmin's gut. He reached out immediately to pull Minhee in his arms. "I'm sorry...that was a stupid move. I wasn't thinking, I was just so happy - I wanted to share the news, that's all."

 

Minhee looked up at him. "That's all?"

 

A sick feeling churned in his stomach. It took him a minute to realize he was lying when answered, "Yes. That's all."

 

His wife gave him a watery smile and consented to the baby name. "Okay...our son's name is Minyun."

 

He inwardly breathed in relief. And he wasn't even sure _why_.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Changmin released a solo song, managed to promote it for a week, and keep up with all the baby business at home. He was exhausted and a bit short-tempered when he came home, but Minhee put up with it patiently. Probably because Changmin was attentive to Minyun the moment he stepped through the doorway. He was a quick learner and was able to take over the diaper-changing, burping, and putting their baby to sleep in order to give his wife breaks in the evening and in the middle of the night.

 

After the brief promotional period ended, Minhee went back to teaching, and Changmin took over taking care of Minyun during the day. He learned quickly his son liked to rebel against him, even at such a young age. Minhee found it endearing and precious, but Changmin worried and grew extra firm with Minyun. Using a strict tone when his son attempted any sort of mischief. His wife thought he was being too harsh on their boy but he didn't want this rebellious nature to escalate as the boy grew up.

 

The only snag ruining a blissful family life at the moment were his dwelling thoughts on Yunho. He still had not received one letter from his hyung. What had he done wrong to deserve such a long silent treatment?

 

Changmin got desperate one day and called Yunho's parents' home after New Years Day. Jihye, Yunho's sister, was the one to answer.

 

"I'm just worried," he said through the phone speaker as he watched Minyun make a mess with the plastic blocks on the rug. "He hadn't responded to any of my letters. Is he doing okay? Did come home at some point?"

 

"Yes, he came home for Christmas," Jihye sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, oppa. He...he said you were busy with your own life and holidays are a time for family."

 

 _So I'm not your family anymore, Yunho?_ Changmin wanted to yell. Instead, he thanked Jihye and requested she keep him updated on Yunho.

 

"Oppa," Jihye began with hesitation. "I don't think my brother is okay. I think he's pretending. I will let you know as soon as he comes home for good."

 

Changmin hung up with a scowl and a heavy heart. When Minhee came home from work, he told her what Yunho's sister told him, hoping for any word of comfort that Yunho was going through a phase or that everything would be okay between them eventually. That Yunho would write or call him one day...

 

Nothing of comfort came out of his wife's mouth. In fact, she seemed to agree with Yunho's sentiments about family. "He's right. You have your own life now. I applaud Yunho for being so mature about it all. He's setting boundaries. You should see this as growing up and moving on from the bachelor, pseudo-marriage partnership you two had going."

 

Changmin bit his tongue and refused to answer because he was afraid of what would come out. He picked Minyun off the floor and took him to the nursery, mumbling an excuse about a diaper change. He just wanted to be alone. With his son and his jumbled up thoughts.

 

He held Minyun and rocked him, staring out the window of the nursery. The boy kicked at him a little but settled down when Changmin laid kiss on his cheek. When he inhaled the boy's scent, his heart began to throb painfully. It might be his imagination playing tricks on him but...

 

He smelled Yunho on his son's soft, baby skin...

 

Changmin buried his nose in it deeper.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

His marriage was suffering from a roller coaster of emotions; whenever they finally managed to have a happy moment, it somehow got spoiled in some drastic way which had them both crashing down to a harsh reality.

 

Mentioning Yunho in their conversations became a big no-no, for it always escalated into a fight. Changmin didn't understand how it got this way but he didn't like it at all.

 

For instance, one Sunday afternoon, Minyun was playing with Changmin's wallet. As the boy shook out the leather folds, a small picture fell out. Minhee pick it up and stared at it for so long it made him nervous.

 

Then she threw it in Changmin's face and asked, "Why do you keep a picture of him in your wallet?"

 

Sure, he kept a small picture of Yunho tucked in one of the compartments of his wallet. So what? What was the big deal? Changmin stared down at the photo - it was a close up of Yunho smiling in his sleep.

 

He remembered that day perfectly. They were in Spain for a photoshoot and Changmin had woken up first. When he had rolled over, he was greeted by Yunho's peaceful, smiling face. Without much thought, he had reached for his phone and snapped a picture of such a rare, beautiful moment.

 

He never really told Yunho he had taken that picture...or that he had it printed and kept it with him at all times. Or that it calmed him to stare at it on occasion.

 

"It's just a picture, what's the big deal?" Changmin shrugged, taking the wallet back from his son and tucking the picture back safely in one of the compartments. He felt Minhee glaring at him but he kept his eyes averted and on Minyun.

 

That night, his wife stripped off her nightgown and climbed on top of him. She was in the mood and Changmin wasn't going to pass that up. He quickly grew hard and slipped off his pants so he could push inside her.

 

Minhee moaned and rocked against him. Changmin gripped her thighs and shut his eyes, mumbling nonsense then crying out his release.

 

Motionless on top of him, Minhee dug her nails in his bare chest. Changmin winced, "Ouch...Minhee, take it easy!"

 

"Oh? You remember my name. _How sweet._ " his wife bit out sarcastically then rolled off of him and ran to lock herself in the bathroom. He could hear her sobbing her heart out.

 

Changmin sat up in a daze, disturbed and upset by what just happened. What had he done? They were making love...did he accidentally hurt her?

 

He racked his brain to recall how he'd screwed up...

 

_"You remember my name. How sweet."_

 

"Did I - " Changmin's eyes widened in horror.

 

He'd said Yunho's name in bed.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

The situation between Changmin and Minhee became cold and distant after that night. Changmin tried to apologize, but Minhee cut him off and told him to leave her alone.

 

And he did because there's nothing worse than when your spouse looked at you with misery and disgust.

 

They still took turns taking care of Minyun, loved their boy, and never fought or snapped at each other in front of him. But the tension was like a mist around the house, thick and stifling, choking them into an unresolved silence for months.

 

His wife stopped calling their son by his full name and just referred to him as _Min_. It bothered Changmin to no end but he simply brooded and kept his mouth shut.

 

Every time his parents called to check on him, he always said, "Fine. Everything is fine." Even though, everything was _far_ from _fine_. Not when his wife would rather cry and ignore his existence than speak to him civilly. Not when he stopped caring to _try_ and make her talk to him. Not when unbidden memories of Yunho and their cozy life together in Japan were the only thing on the forefront of his mind.

 

Against his better judgment, Changmin sent a final letter to Yunho. He didn't rant or elaborate on harbored resentment and confused feelings...he didn't even mention his failing marriage. He only wrote these simple words:

 

_His name is Minyun._

_I love you, Yunho._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Minyun was about year and a half old when Changmin got a call from Jihye.

 

"Yunho gets released from service tomorrow."

 

The phone almost fell out of Changmin's grip. He was currently feeding Minyun pureed carrots while Minhee washed the dishes. Unfortunately, most of the carrots were ending up more on Minyun's face and clothes than actually _in_ his mouth.

 

"Oh. I see. Well, is he coming home?" He asked as casually as possible, but noticed Minhee turn her head back to give him a look.

 

"Yes. You should come to Gwangju," Jihye suggested. "But give it a few days. Let him get settled."

 

Changmin pretended to consider it. He knew in his heart he was going to Gwangju - probably tomorrow to check into a hotel and wait - because he _needed_ to see Yunho. "Sure, yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Jihye."

 

Immediately after he hung up, Minhee threw the dish towel down on the counter and spun around. "So. Yunho's completed his service. What are you going to do now?"

 

Buying himself time by wiping Minyun's messy face, Changmin cleared his throat. "Well, I think I might go to Gwangju to visit him. Our manager will probably get in contact with me soon anyway to talk about a comeback. It makes sense to go."

 

"Really?" Minhee inquired callously. "I would think since he never wrote to you or called or visited during his break, it's a clear sign he _doesn't_ want you to visit him."

 

Changmin cringed - that was his deepest fear, but to hear it spoken out loud was jarring to both his ears and his heart. "Maybe. But I have business to discuss with him."

 

"Yes, I'm sure you do." Minhee spun back to face the sink and continued washing the dishes.

 

They sat in silence as Changmin fed Minyun the rest of the carrots (which was a Herculean task within itself) and then stood to hand Minhee the dirty bowl. As she took it from him, he was given a low and firm warning, "If you go to Gwangju, we're over, Changmin."

 

Changmin stared at her for a while, long after she looked away. It worried him that he didn't feel much sadness or regret. But... _relief_.

 

Was he a bad person? A shitty husband? Why wasn't he yelling and demanding she take back those words or that he loved her and wanted to stay with her forever?

 

Still gazing at his wife, who'd stopped washing and was drying her hands, Changmin's worry morphed into absolutely...nothing. He felt nothing. How could that be?

 

Their marriage had come to this, though. Partly due to going into it reluctantly because of the pregnancy. But mostly due to the jealousy and suspicion towards Changmin's obsession with Yunho. And, yes, he could admit now it's an obsession. Yunho was a major priority to him...had been and always would be.

 

All in all, he didn't blame Minhee for giving him an ultimatum. He was simply grateful she was the one to call it.

 

Mind made up, Changmin promptly left the kitchen to start packing. He's going to Gwangju...and he's taking Minyun with him.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Changmin drove to Gwangju since it was only a three-hour drive and he had time to kill. He heeded Jihye's advice and gave Yunho a few days to settle down. Using that time to try Gwangju's cuisines and go sightseeing with Minyun in his arms, then retire to his hotel room every night.

 

On the third day, Changmin was strolling in the park, watching Minyun explore, when his phone rang. It was a lawyer, informing him with a regretful tone that Minhee had filed for divorce.

 

Changmin rubbed his eyes tiredly, listening to the lawyer explain the court process they were about to undertake. He got so distracted, he lost sight of Minyun. As panic rose, he interjected the lawyer's soliloquy on divorce, "You'll have to call back tomorrow," and hung up to search for his son.

 

He located him surprisingly quick. Because the boy was only near the pond...

 

 _with Yunho_.

 

Yunho was actually there - standing by the pond - expressionless as he stared back at Changmin but _oh so handsome_. Just as he remembered him.

 

So many emotions flinted through him at that pivotal moment, making him want to cry and yell at the same time. _How could you ignore me for so long? How? Do I mean nothing to you?_

 

But he kept his anger in check and spoke in hopefully a civil tone. Minyun threw a fit - probably for being interrupted from feeding the ducks - and wobbled away. Changmin went after him but insisted on seeing Yunho tomorrow.

 

 _You can't run from me forever, hyung._ Changmin carried his crying son and exited the park.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Bright and early the next day, he parked in front of Yunho's house and honked his horn. He spotted Jihye at the window, waving at him. He waved back, unsmiling as he waited.

 

It took a good twenty minutes for Yunho to come out of the house, dragging his luggage. Changmin stepped out of the car to help Yunho with his suitcase, then opened the passenger door for his hyung. Yunho gave him a strange look but climbed in without a word.

 

Jihye gave Changmin a thumbs up from the window and he gave himself a mental pat on the back. He might be pissed off at Yunho but he could never repress his instinctive, attentive nature towards the man.

 

In his car seat, Minyun was wiggling and pointing at Yunho, emphatically babbling something incoherent. Yunho turned in the seat, nodding and listening and smiling like he actually understood everything the boy was saying. Changmin's hand contracted on the gear shift as his eyes tried to take in the adorable display.

 

Other than the cropped haircut, Yunho hadn't changed much, albeit a few more worry lines. He was still painfully good-looking and sparkly-eyed with the most enthralling smile. Changmin used to bask in that smile, snuggle up in it and let it comfort him in times of stress. Whenever Changmin saw that smile, he became convinced everything would be okay.

 

Yunho caught him staring and the smile slipped off. Changmin's jaw tensed as he tore his gaze away to shift the gear stick and step on the gas pedal rather forcefully.

 

They rode in silence except for Minyun's occasional shouting and flapping at the scenery. Once they made it out of Gwangju's city limits and on to the long stretch of country road, Changmin gripped the steering wheel for support as he pondered aloud, "Did you even read any of my letters?"

 

Yunho squirmed a bit in his seat. "Yes."

 

"Even the last one?"

 

Yunho paused. "Yes. Last night...I read it."

 

Changmin swallowed, throat dry and pulse racing. "And?"

 

"Why Minyun? Why, Changmin?"

 

The baby boy heard his name and squealed happily. Changmin reached back behind him to rub Minyun's tummy then returned to grip the steering wheel with both hands. "Minhee asked me the same question. I think I answered it in the letter, hyung."

 

Yunho grew quiet for a while; Changmin could practically hear the wheels turning in Yunho's head as the tension increased steadily with each passing minute. He needed to say more, but what could he say? How could he possibly put into words what he was feeling? He wasn't even sure _what_ he was feeling.

 

All he knew was that he loved Yunho and missed him so much his teeth ached.

 

Yunho suddenly asked, "Would Minyun be hungry right now?"

 

Perplexed, Changmin replied, "Maybe..." he checked the digital clock on his dashboard. "Yeah, he could probably eat. I've got baby food in his bag."

 

"Wanna pull over and let me move to the back to feed him?" Yunho offered.

 

Playing along with the change in topic, Changmin steered the car on to the shoulder of the road and parked it. Yunho climbed out and slid into the back seat. Rummaging through Minyun's baby bag, he found a small jar of pureed vegetables and a small spoon. Minyun kicked his arms and legs excitedly. "Food!"

 

Yunho let out a small laugh and, with ease, convinced the small toddler to take the first bite. Changmin was already turned around in his seat, conscious of his gaping mouth as he watched in awe and slight envy as the other man slipped into the parent role so naturally.

 

Yunho didn't say anything to him, just focused all his attention on Minyun - making baby faces at him, brushing his cheeks, talking to him and asking him questions as if the baby could answer in full, complete, coherent sentences.

 

And Minyun thrived on the attention. Oh, he babbled at everything Yunho said, looking engaged and enchanted by everything Yunho said or did.

 

Changmin faced the front and sighed, heart feeling more full and content than it had in a long time. He shifted the gear stick and pulled back on to the road, driving a tad slower so that Yunho could easily continue feeding Minyun, give him a sippy cup of water, and play with him until he fell asleep, rocked by the motion of the car.

 

Changmin pulled to the side of the road again, giving Yunho a chance to move back to the front seat. The first thing Changmin did was reach for Yunho's hand.

 

He stroked it tenderly. Thumb brushing over knuckles and secretly reveling in Yunho's little intake of breath. "Thank you, hyung. You're a natural with him. He usually fights me during meals."

 

"Changmin," Yunho started very hesitantly. "To what extent did those words in the letter entail?"

 

"Huh? What'd you mean?"

 

"The...love part." Yunho kept his eyes averted.

 

Heart doing a somersault in his chest, Changmin stuttered through a response, "I - I - I don't know, it's c-complicated. I care for you as my hyung, my work partner, my friend. Minhee thinks - "

 

Jerking his hand free from the hold, Yunho stared out the window, dismissing Changmin completely.

 

 _No! You will not ignore me any longer!_ A cluster of outbursts boiled on his tongue, making him steam from the ears. He couldn't contain it much longer...

 

In a deep undertone, Changmin snapped, "Do you have any goddamn idea how much I missed you? How much your silence hurt me? How much you're hurting me now?"

 

"Poor you!" Yunho sniped back, pushing the car door open and climbing out. Changmin couldn't believe the man was running. Before he knew it, he too was out of the car, rounding it until he had Yunho pinned to the side of it.

 

Changmin shook the man once by the shoulders. "What is wrong with you? Where are you gonna go? You gonna walk to Seoul? Am I so abhorred to be around now? You were acting strange long before you went off to service. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now." Voice shaking, he sneered, "If you hate me, just say it!"

 

Coldly, Yunho stared up into Changmin's eyes, breathing harsh with flushed cheeks. For some reason, Changmin was mesmerized. Neither said a word till...

 

Yunho's poker face heart-breakingly crumbled. And tears swarmed those sweetly slanted brown eyes.

 

Biting down on his lower lip, Changmin's body tensed against Yunho's. What was happening? How did this spiral out-of-control? Wildly, he had to wonder how many times he'd inadvertently made his hyung cry without his knowledge because Yunho appeared so... _done_ with _everything_ right now.

 

"I wish I could hate you!" Yunho choked quietly. "But you just wouldn't stop...and over ten years I just kept falling deeper and deeper. I tried to forget you...but you won't let that happen either!" He tried to push against Changmin but he refused to budge.

 

"You're in love with me?"

 

"Leave me alone, Changmin," Yunho beseeched.

 

"That's not ever going to happen. And you're delusional if you think I'm ever giving up on you," Changmin added for good measure.

 

"You're married!"

 

Changmin placed both hands on Yunho's waist and squeezed. "Answer the question."

 

"Yes!" The confession broke Yunho's voice. "I'm in love with you! But I'm a man and you're married so...move and let's get to Seoul in one piece."

 

It was like Changmin's world spun and righted itself all in one amazing moment. He couldn't say anything, even if he managed to find the right words. So he leaned down and buried his face in Yunho's neck, and eventually Yunho's arms wrapped themselves loosely around Changmin.

 

He clung on to his hyung for dear life. Only Minyun's fussing some time later penetrated through their tight embrace.

 

 


	5. Back To Tommorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and patience and hope the ending is worth the wait. Enjoy! :)

 (poster by [](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/profile) [TONI_LUV ](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/))

 

 

_Open it. Open it, you coward!_

 

Yunho was lying on his bed, holding up the last, unopened letter Changmin had sent to him. He was nervous to open it, but nothing was as nerve-wracking as seeing Changmin in the park earlier today. And the fact that he'd have to see the man tomorrow, in an enclosed space, for a relatively long period of time, for their drive to Seoul.

 

Swallowing his nerves, Yunho tore open the letter and read it.

 

_Oh...Changmin._

 

Pressing the letter to his chest, Yunho released the sobs clogged up in his throat...so much for locking away all his feelings.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Yunho took his sweet time saying good-bye to his parents and sister, slightly dreading the confrontation waiting for him outside. Eventually, after he guarded himself and ventured out of the house, Changmin immediately dashed up to help him with his luggage. Yunho surveyed the younger man, heart pounding loudly in his chest when Changmin opened the car door for him.

 

 _Nothing's changed. He's still attentive towards me._ Yunho fought to keep his features free of adoration. _Remember, he's married!_

 

Minyun was in the backseat and Yunho couldn't help himself - he had to turn and interact with the precious boy. He could tell the kid was going to be very vocal when he grew up because he certainly liked to talk a lot, even when he made no sense to adults.

 

 _Minyun_ , Yunho recited the name to himself. It's a combination of both his name and Changmin's names...was this on purpose? Was this a sign that Changmin might feel more than friendship towards him? He was very unsure since the last letter had been very short and vague in its intentions.

 

In the car sometime later, Changmin brought up the letters and Yunho took the opportunity to ask about the child's name.

 

"...I think I answered it in the letter, hyung."

 

Yunho became quiet as he thought hard about what Changmin meant. The last line of the letter was "I love you..."

 

The younger man loved him - loved him so much he wanted him included in his child's name. Although the love could simply be brotherly, bubbling happiness seeped into his very core. He was truly touched by Changmin's gesture.

 

For the next hour, Yunho sat in the back and took care of Minyun himself. He wanted to show Changmin just how grateful he was and how much he already cared for his son. But when Minyun had fallen asleep and Yunho climbed back into the passenger seat, an old, familiar sort of tension arose.

 

Changmin was holding his hand. Stroking it. Loving it so tenderly with soft fingers.

 

Yunho wanted to cry.

 

He had to escape; with Changmin dodging his question about love and the enclosure of the car, Yunho was going to suffocate from his despair as old feelings resurfaced and he's suddenly slung back where he was two years ago.

 

But Changmin caught him, pressing him between his body and the car. The physical attraction that stabbed at his loins plus Changmin aggressive suggestion about hate completely shattered him.

 

As if Yunho could _ever_ hate Changmin - his body physically rejecting the mere thought of it through tears.

 

He gave in and broke down, but stubbornly tried to hang on to his sanity. But Changmin pushed and _pushed_ like he always did.

 

So Yunho ended up spilling his love while stumbling through excuses and still trying to _get away_...

 

Then, all of a sudden, Changmin was in his arms and all reservations flew from his mind; Yunho hugged him back and breathed him in.

 

Whatever this moment was - he was going to savor every ounce of it.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

They were only an hour and a half away from Seoul but Changmin suggested they stop at a hotel for the rest of the day and continue the rest of the drive tomorrow.

 

Taken aback but not opposed to the idea, Yunho agreed when they found a decent hotel establishment in a small town between Gwangju and Seoul. Their hotel room had two twin-sized beds, a bathroom, and a television. They brought in their luggage and the first thing Changmin did was change Minyun's diaper.

 

"I plan to start potty training him when he's two years old," Changmin said conversationally, nose wrinkling at the dirty diaper in his hand.

 

Yunho had to chuckle. "You're a pro at changing them, though."

 

Changmin appeared pretty pleased with himself. "Thanks. You were right, I did get the hang of being a father. Except for the feeding...I'm terrible at that."

 

"Guess I'll have to feed Minyun for you," Yunho joked.

 

In a serious tone, Changmin affirmed, "You'll have to. Because Minhee and I are getting divorced."

 

Yunho had been caressing Minyun's forehead and faltered when he heard the news. "What? What happened?"

 

"A quick marriage to cover up a pregnancy happened. Major differences happened. _You_ happened." Changmin stood up to wash his hands in the bathroom.

 

 _You happened._ With a twinge of guilt, Yunho stared down at Minyun as the toddler grabbed his hand and began inspecting it. This innocent little boy was already a child of divorce, and he was partly responsible for that. And yet, Yunho hated himself for also feeling elated at the thought of Changmin and Minhee breaking up.

 

Changmin came back into the main room and sat next to Yunho on the bed. Yunho set a steady gaze on him and said, "I'm so sorry about your marriage. I'm sorry I didn't tell you of my feelings long ago...or responded to any of your letters. I tried erasing you, which wasn't a wise way to deal with my feelings."

 

Playing with Minyun's socked feet and getting a kick in the process, Changmin stressed, "Yes, but I'm more to blame. Why would you admit feelings to someone who dated others in front of you, who got a girl pregnant and married her?" Changmin paused like something was occurring to him. "I...I think that if I knew you were in love with me, I would have never dated Minhee."

 

Yunho's heart almost gave out. "Are you saying you feel the same way about me?"

 

Throwing him a hooded stare, Changmin revealed in a low voice, "Considering I said your name in bed with my wife, yes, I'd say I feel the same."

 

Certain his face was glowing the brightest shade of red, Yunho's eyes skirted away, unable to keep Changmin's intense hold a moment longer.

 

"I just hadn't..." Changmin bluntly continued. "let myself think about you in that way since I was a teenager."

 

Eyes trained on his lap, Yunho was saved from having to respond by Minyun jumping onto his lap and demanding, "Up! Up!"

 

He gladly complied, grateful for the distraction. Lifting Minyun up in the air, Yunho swung him around the room like the toddler was a miniature plane. The little boy squealed, making Yunho involuntarily laugh at cuteness of it all. Changmin watched them from the bed for a while, then announced he was ordering pizza and proposed watching T.V. while they ate.

 

It all felt so natural, like Yunho had slipped back into a familiar domestic routine. Like he hadn't been away at all.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Once Yunho fed Minyun (Changmin didn't even try to offer taking over and thanked Yunho multiple times), the toddler was given some of his stuffed animals and placed in the middle of a fort of pillows on the bed. Noises of him giggling and talking to his toys could be heard over the comedy show playing on the T.V.

 

Yunho noticed Changmin keeping one eye on his son, even as he munched on his pizza and watched the television program. It was heart-warming to say the least. Yunho was so proud of the father Changmin had become.

 

Out of the blue, Changmin asked him, "So...tell me about your experience in the military. I'll have to look forward to it later. What was it like?"

 

Yunho tried not to think about being away from Changmin for another two years and thought back over his own experience. He opened up, telling Changmin of all the major events at camp...leaving out his bouts of depression and sexual healing with Yongjin.

 

But Changmin was frighteningly perceptive. "Did you meet anyone special?"

 

Swallowing the last bite of his pizza and taking a sip of his coke, Yunho tried to stall. Changmin asked the question again, this time more urgently.

 

Yunho relented. "Yes. I met someone special. His name was Yongjin. He was...nice to me."

 

" _How_ nice?" Changmin pressed to know more, putting his pizza down and scooting closer.

 

"What happened with Yongjin was private...he helped get through a lot. He took care of me when I was down."

 

"Again, I'm going to ask _how_?"

 

Yunho sighed when Changmin didn't drop the subject. "We sought...physical affection from each other. I don't really want to talk it in any more detail, Changmin."

 

The younger man appeared torn as he blurted, "I shouldn't be upset, but I am. This Yongjin touched you. In intimate ways no doubt. I don't know how to take that right now."

 

"Changmin, it's in the past." Yunho felt the need to point out, "You also had a wife and slept with her for the past two years. You don't think I - " He stopped talking before he said too much.

 

Face down-turned with guilt, Changmin wrapped an arm around Yunho's shoulders. "You're right. Let's discuss it no more. The past is the past - we're together now."

 

Very slowly, Yunho leaned sideways to rest his head on Changmin's shoulder. They remained snuggled in close that way until the television program was over and Minyun had exhausted himself into a nap.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

They didn't discuss work.

 

Work was waiting for them back in Seoul. For the rest of the day in the hotel, they played games. Baby games like _tickle monster_ with Minyun and grown-up games with the card deck Yunho had tucked away in his suitcase.

 

They played various card games as Minyun situated himself in Changmin's suitcase and made a general mess of his things. Yunho grinned inwardly at the mischief, deciding not to alert Changmin to what his son was up to behind his back.

 

Changmin threw his card down and pumped his fist in the air. "I won!"

 

Yunho openly grinned now at the younger man. He couldn't even be mad he lost...some things never change.

 

"How about a round of _strip_ poker?" Changmin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Yunho's grin fell, heart pounding. The spark of humor on Changmin's face flickered off and with a contrite look said, "I'm sorry."

 

"You're still married, Changmin." Yunho shuffled the cards in his hands nervously.

 

Changmin hung his head, thinking deeply, then stood up to stretch. When he spotted Minyun throwing his belongings everywhere, he raised his voice and scolded his son. Yunho flinched and got to his feet too, making his way to the bathroom.

 

Staring at himself in the mirror, Yunho tried to regulate his escalated heart rate. _Changmin is not yours to play with..._

 

_...yet._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

By ten o'clock that night, the three of them grew sleepy. In a companionable silence, Yunho and Changmin split the baby work - one fed the toddler then the other changed his diaper - before retiring for the night. Yunho on a twin bed of his own while Changmin and Minyun shared the other one.

 

Sometime in the middle of the night, in the pitch-black darkness of the room, Yunho sensed the bed sheets lifting and a solid body slip in, curling around him in a possessive manner.

 

At first, Yunho instinctively tried wiggling out of the hold. But then he heard a whispered - "Please...it's not about sex. I just miss you" - and stopped fighting it. He'd day-dreamed about sleeping in Changmin's arms so many times, this felt like a dream. And maybe it was. But Yunho was going to sink into it and let it carry him into a blissful slumber.

 

The morning came too soon.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Back on the road to Seoul...

 

"Are you cold, Yunho?"

 

Yunho had been rubbing heat into his arms, and so, nodded. He reached for the dashboard controls to turn down the blast of the AC when his fingers brushed against the back of Changmin's hand. They both winced from the spark of electricity that resulted from their touch.

 

Changmin let out a nervous chuckle and retracted his hand. Yunho busied himself with the AC controls then twisted around to face the backseat and play peek-a-boo with Minyun.

 

A little while later, Yunho got thirsty and Changmin offered up his bottle of water. Yunho gulped the liquid down greedily and put the bottle back in the cup holder with a "Thank you."

 

He heard Changmin swallow and say, "You still wrap your lips around the tip..."

 

Yunho flushed at the peculiar choice of words. "Yeah...I guess so. I know that bothers you."

 

"N-No...No, wrap them around the tip anytime you want..."

 

 _Oh my God_ , Yunho stared out the window, eyes blown wide. "T-Thanks...I do like the feel of the tip when I swa - uh - I - nevermind."

 

The car swerved a bit out of its lane. Not another word was said for the rest of the trip.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

When they'd arrived in the heart of downtown Seoul, Changmin stopped to fill up gas. Yunho went to the backseat and fed Minyun a jar of peas, while observing Changmin from under his lashes. The younger man got a phone call and appeared somber as he took it.

 

Once the car was filled up, Changmin hung up the phone and slid back into the driver's seat, announcing, "We're going by my house. Minhee wants to see Minyun."

 

The pit of Yunho's stomach clenched. He stayed in the back with Minyun, holding the toddler's tiny hand in his palm.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

As they entered Changmin's house, Yunho hung back behind father and son, dragging his feet and awaiting a slap in the face from Minhee.

 

No slap, no ugly word of exchange occurred. In fact, Minhee asked him if he wanted a drink. He bowed his head and said, "Just water, please."

 

Changmin touched his shoulder reassuringly and invited him to sit down. Minyun was placed on the carpeted floor, where the boy proceeded playing with his toy cars. Minhee returned to the living room with a glass of water and Yunho quietly thanked her.

 

In a valiant attempt to break the awkwardness in the room, Yunho inquired, "How's teaching, Minhee?"

 

"I'm on holiday right now," she answered while fluffing a pillow unnecessarily. "Just got back from visiting my parents."

 

"How are they?" Changmin prompted.

 

"They're good. I told them about the divorce. They didn't take it well at first...but they'll come around."

 

Changmin and Minhee stared at each other for several beats then looked away uncomfortably. Yunho clutched the glass of water in his hand and burst out with, "May I speak with you privately, Minhee?"

 

Appearing alarmed, Changmin said, "Yunho, you don't need to - "

 

Keeping his gaze on Minhee, Yunho cut off the interruption and asked Minhee again. The pretty young woman looked conflicted before finally agreeing. Yunho gave Changmin a look that said _I need you to leave the room_.

 

Changmin looked between Yunho and Minhee and must have decided it would be okay because he picked Minyun up and carried him away. "I'll be in the nursery."

 

Wasting no time, Yunho began spilling everything he had to say before he lost his nerve. "Minhee...I have been in love with Changmin for so long I don't even remember when it happened. I never told him because I figured he'd never feel the same way, especially after he met you. I just figured my feelings would fade eventually...but they didn't. Please, understand I never meant to cause trouble between the two of you."

 

"I know!" Minhee interjected to remark. "You tried cutting him off...but that only made him dwell on you even more. He merged your names together for our son's name...how do you think that made me feel, Yunho?"

 

Glancing away to focus on a spot on the couch, Yunho noted in a mere whisper, "You must hate me so much. I will try to disappear, really, Minhee. You two can work it out - "

 

"There's nothing to work out," Minhee resolved with an edge to her tone. "I will always be wondering if he's thinking about you, always wondering...no, _knowing_ we married out of obligation. I can't live that way forever. It's best this happens while Minyun is young enough not to remember." She paused for a minute then declared, "And I _don't_ hate you. I knew of Changmin's attachment to you long ago...I just figured - it would fade, _but it didn't_."

 

They both grew quiet, assessing each other thoughtfully now. Finally, Minhee got up. "I need to speak with Changmin about the divorce papers. As much as it hurts, it is what it is." As she walked away, Yunho shot to his feet and made a grab for her arm. She drew back with a flinch.

 

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you - " Yunho broke off to take a deep breath. "I could barely look at you during your wedding. But now I am looking and you are..." He couldn't find the right words.

 

Changmin's voice finished Yunho's thought, "...a beautiful and kind woman. And I never meant to hurt you...I'm _so_ sorry."

 

Eyes wide and pleading and on Minhee's distraught countenance, Changmin stood frozen at the entrance of the living room with Minyun in his arms.

 

Minhee sighed deeply, after which walked over to Changmin. "Part of me hates you so much, but the other part..." She cupped the side of his face. "I just need time to accept...everything. Thank you for apologizing."

 

Changmin's expression grew soft. "Thank _you_ for Minyun."

 

Yunho bit down on his lip, itching to escape. He walked backwards to the front door and slipped out, giving the couple much-needed privacy. Maybe they'd reconnect, maybe they'd get back together...

 

The bile that rose in Yunho's throat almost choked him and he sped his way down the front yard.

 

Before he got too far down the street, Changmin was calling out to him, "Yunho! Where are you going?"

 

Yunho drew to a stop by a tree and faced the man he loved so dearly. Changmin halted in front of him, panting. "Why'd you run off? We need to go to the SM building together. I was only dropping Minyun off."

 

"Really?" Yunho hated how hopeful he sounded.

 

Changmin gently smiled, stepping forward until he had Yunho's back against the tree. " _Really._ "

 

Yunho smiled too, heart unclenching with relief. Changmin shifted unbearably close whilst rubbing the small of his back.

 

Yunho's smile dimmed as he flatly stated, "We're taking things slow, Changmin. I want Minhee to be okay with me being a part of Minyun's life."

 

"You will always be a part of Minyun's life." Honesty broke Changmin's voice. "He has part of your name and part of Minhee's name. You have a son too, hyung. And someone who love you deeply... _me_."

 

Tears overflowed between them as Changmin rested a hand above Yunho's head on the tree instead but kept his body close, warming every cell in Yunho's body and patching up years of a broken heart.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Several weeks went by. Weeks of careful concept planning and song selections for a Dong Bang Shin Ki comeback. Weeks of divorce court hearings and awkward family get-togethers between the broken couple's families. Weeks of Minyun alternating between staying either with his mother or father - during which the soon-to-be divorced couple moved out of their house and into separate apartments. Weeks of Yunho _temporarily_ moving in with Changmin - or so they told their manager. Weeks of Yunho and Changmin flirting and doing absolutely nothing about their obvious sexual curiosity and attraction.

 

At first, Yunho had been unsure if Changmin even desired him sexually. But one morning within the first week he'd moved in, as he attempted to cook breakfast, Changmin came in with a loud yawn and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "What's cookin', Chef Jung?" At the intimate contact, Yunho had felt a very prominent bulge press into his backside.

 

Maybe it's just morning wood...

 

Unceremoniously, he pushed his butt against the hard length as he leaned over the counter to reach for the salt. Hearing Changmin curse and feeling him rotate his hips ever so slightly, Yunho jerked away, burning from the inside out.

 

Changmin desired him - that thought alone kept him eager but ready to wait as long as necessary.

 

At home they tried to avoid touching _too much_ , which was easier when Minyun was with them; the boy had a great knack for blocking any sort of intimate activity when he felt ignored.

 

At work it was a different story; Yunho felt like Changmin used any excuse in the book to touch him. Slugging an arm around him during photoshoots, brushing his cheeks or the back of his hand during their sessions in the recording studio, and then there were the dance practices...

 

Changmin did something very odd one day, when all the dancers were out for a lunch break and the duo had lagged behind in the dance room for extra practice. Yunho was on the wooded floor, panting and fanning himself with his loose, off-the-shoulder t-shirt when Changmin knelt and parted his legs. He gasped in surprise but momentarily went along with it. With an intense look of concentration, Changmin situated himself between Yunho's legs and hovered above him. Yunho gazed up at him, suddenly very aware of how sweaty and turned-on he was.

 

_This is not appropriate...push him...push him away!_

 

But the contact went no further. After squeezing Yunho's thighs through his shorts and muttering something about _just helping you stretch_ , Changmin rose to his feet and walked out of the dance room...leaving Yunho boneless and aching on the floor.

 

Yunho sometimes let himself think about Changmin in the shower and it helped him release some of the ache. Sometimes he heard his own name moaned from the bathroom whenever Changmin was washing up, and Yunho had to smother the urge to jump into the shower with his bandmate and put an end to their suffering.

 

They never openly mentioned sex - it always laced in an innuendo or intimate gesture. Used to waiting with insurmountable patience, Yunho allowed himself the simple indulgence of longing from afar.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

It was Christmas time.

 

Minyun was turning two years old and starting to call Yunho, "Papa". As his vocabulary and motor skills expanded, the little boy grew rapidly aware of the fact that "Mommy", "Daddy", and "Papa" adored him very much, each in their own way. All three of them built themselves a nitche in Minyun's life: Yunho was the playful-full-of-kisses one who would probably let him get away with murder, whereas Changmin was the disciplinarian who was extremely protective of him, and Minhee was the nurturer who fed him the best food and told the best bedtime stories.

 

Yunho grinned as thoughts of his precious Minyun diverted him from his work. He was currently in the recording studio adding some last minute touches to their new album, while Changmin dropped Minyun off at Minhee's parents' house.

 

He already missed the adorable little boy, chuckling as he recalled the incident from this morning...when Minyun decided to throw a fit and not go potty in the toilet.

 

"NO! No, daddy!" The boy had run around the house butt-naked, giggling mischievously as he scurried from Changmin's booming voice and hid behind the Christmas tree.

 

Yunho had caught him up in his arms and blown raspberries on his chubby tummy. "Papa tickle monster! Eeeek!"

 

"Minyun, so help me - " Changmin came in bellowing but quickly calmed down when Yunho laid a small peck on his cheek and took Minyun to the toilet himself, explaining to the little boy how the process worked and that he'd get a treat afterwards if he used it.

 

The tactic worked like a charm. Minyun allowed himself to be hoisted onto the toilet without a fight.

 

Changmin had joined them in the bathroom, shaking his head in disbelief.  " _Unbelievable, Minyun._  You're gonna be that teenager that comes home with tattoos and piercings all over your body just to spite me, aren't you?"

 

Minyun grinned widely up at his daddy as he tinkled in the toilet for the first time. 

 

Yunho laughed outright at the memory, then pushed _play_  on the control panel. Humming the tune of the song playing in the background, Yunho sat on a revolving stool in the recording studio, reciting the lyrics in his head. He was so caught up in the song, he hadn't realized Changmin entered the room until the younger man spun him around in the chair. "C'mere!"

 

Startled, Yunho almost fell off the stool - "Whoa, Changmin!" - but was soon grabbed and pulled up to stand by his bandmate, who had a grin on his face a mile wide as he also raised the volume of the song from the control panel.

 

"Dropped Minyun off okay?" Yunho asked, confused by the burst of energy radiating off of the younger man.

 

Eyes dancing with intensity, Changmin tilted Yunho's head up so their lips were an inch apart. Barely breathing, Yunho uttered a soft, "We can't..."

 

Changmin was nodding before he could continue to protest. "Yes, _we can_. The divorce is final."

 

The ground spun under Yunho's feet and he had to steady himself on Changmin's shoulders. Eyes darting to the door, Yunho swallowed down his desire. "We still can't..."

 

"I locked the door and told everyone around not to disturb us." Changmin said against Yunho's lips.

 

Years of suppressed desire for this man blew up in him like a balloon, making him surge forward and press into Changmin for a hungry kiss. Tasting sweet desire and heat on Changmin's lips had Yunho _melting_. When they parted, breathless and desperate, Yunho pushed Changmin down on the bigger, leather chair in the studio and climbed up to straddle him. "You sure you want this? You've never shown desire for a man before..."

 

Changmin slipped his hands into the back of Yunho's sweatpants and held him _down_ so both their hardening lengths grind together. "How could I not want _someone like you_? You've been a teenage dream to me, one I never let myself think about too much for fear of never having you. Are you sure you even want _me_?"

 

 _Utterly ridiculous to even ask._ Yunho spurned all the doubt by taking Changmin's lips again in a not-so-gentle kiss. Closing his eyes in bliss and letting his senses take over.

 

They writhed, moaned, and came together for the first time, right there on the chair, in the place they'd first been introduced as teenagers...never knowing they'd grow so attached and fall in love. 

 

 _Finally_ , Yunho breathed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~The End
> 
> Many more scenarios popped up in my head of them going through the comeback, then Changmin going off to complete his military service. I imagined Yunho would continue to help Minhee with little Minyun. And when Changmin returned after two years service, him and Yunho would pick up where they left off. Just thought I'd share those little tidbits; the rest is up to your imagination. Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
